Episode #312 "The Great Dickdater"

  Dick realizes that he’s beginning to be attracted to women other than Mary and that maybe he’s ready to start dating. Tommy and Harry find a wallet and return it to its owner; at first they’re pleased to have done a good deed but change their minds when Mrs. Dubcek says they should have been given a reward. Dick strikes out in his first attempts to attract women; Sally observes that women don’t even have to be nice to men and they still grovel. Sally, Officer Don and Dick are at the Policeman’s Ball, and Dick once again is having no luck with the women; Sally, on the other hand, continues to attract men no matter how rude she is. Tommy and Harry show up at Rick’s door (the man whose wallet they returned) hoping for a reward, but Rick gives them nothing. Dick goes along with Tommy’s suggestion that he place a personals ad, and he manages to get a date. Dick and Mary are mortified when it’s revealed that she’s the one responding to his personal ad. Sally’s doing research on how abusive she can be before some guy tells her to go to hell. Dick, convinced he’ll be dateless forever, buys himself a model train set. Officer Don fixes Dick up with a date, Celia; they go on a double date with Don and Bibi, a woman he met at the Policeman’s Ball. Don tells Dick not to worry; if things start getting awkward for Dick, Don will help him out. When Rick offers Harry and Tommy money to stop hounding him, they refuse, saying virtue is it’s own reward. When Sally’s date Paul doesn’t complain when she serves him raw chicken, she ends the experiment in disgust. And after his date Dick decides that the key to success with women is not self-confidence but self-loathing.