Episode #515 "Youth Is Wasted On The Dick"

Don is using the Solomons' apartment for a surveillance, because he suspects the man across the street is a video pirate. He's barking orders to his underlings, and Sally insists that he order her around too. It's the day before spring break, and Dick's class is ready to party. Dick had always thought that students rested during the break, but his class quickly sets him straight. Mary shows Dick a brochure for "The Bed and Breakfast on Sterling Lake," where she spent many happy summers with her family as a young girl. Dick suggests that they go and recapture her youth. The surveillance continues, and Dick warns the other aliens that they must do nothing to reveal their true identities. A handsome man in a dark suit arrives; it's Jack McMannus with the State Crime Division. He's there to commandeer the observation post, because he too has been chasing the video pirate. Sally urges Don to tell McMannus that this is his case. Dick and Mary arrive at the inn, and Mary exclaims that it's just like it was when she was a little girl (Dick thinks the place stinks). Jack has Harry and Tommy riveted with stories about his job. Jack asks Don to get him a cup of coffee, and Sally angrily responds that Don isn't his errand boy, furthermore he shouldn't always be on Don's case. Jack says he didn't make lieutenant by being a softie. That's all it takes to get Sally's complete attention; she's a lieutenant too. They're immediately engrossed in a conversation about weapons and military tactics, and Sally's enchanted. Dick and Mary go out for a burger and find that the restaurant has been invaded by students on spring break. Mary wants to go back to the inn, but Dick thinks the kids look like they're having a good time, so he decides to stay. Almost immediately he runs into Bug, Leon, Caryn and Pitman. Harry and Tommy try to persuade Don to get someone to put on a wire and get the suspected video pirate to incriminate himself. Tommy volunteers until Don says it might be dangerous, and then he volunteers Harry. Dick gets roaring drunk with his students, while back at the Solomons' apartment, Sally is trying to seduce Jack. Just as she's about to succeed, Jack gets an emergency call and takes off. Mary's horrified when she wakes up to find that Dick has brought all the partiers back to the room with him. They continue to party until Mrs. Larson, the innkeeper, brings things to a screeching halt. She says she now remembers Mary and her family; Mary was the fat little girl who ate everybody's Belgian waffles and her family always had loud drunken parties. She wants everyone, including Dick and Mary, out of her inn immediately. Harry shows up a the door of the alleged video pirate dressed as a pizza delivery guy, but Don realizes that he has the mic and Harry has the speaker, and Harry has to bolt. Dick apologizes to Mary that he ruined a place for her that held so many happy memories, but Mary says Mrs. Larson was right. Mary was fat and unhappy; she just didn't want to remember it that way. Jack goes after Don, because now the case is a bust, but Sally leaps to Don's defense saying she can't imagine why she ever found Jack attractive. Don's her kind of cop and her kind of guy.