Episode #606 "Why Dickie Can't Teach"

Tommy can't decide where to go to college, and Dick is really pushing Pendleton. Dick says when it's all said and done, Princeton and Pendleton both serve fish sticks. Dick says he'll give Tommy a personal tour of the campus. Harry wants to go too but the other aliens remind him that he's not going to college. Sally's upset that Don's not included in a newspaper article on Rutherford's ten most powerful men; she can't fathom how this is possible. Sally says maybe she's let Don down; maybe she hasn't thrust greatness upon him. It's time to rebuild him into the powerhouse he's never dreamed of being. On campus, Mary tries to help Dick recruit Tommy, but Tommy just wants to sit in on a class. Sally decides to throw a power brunch to turn Don into a success; she invites everyone on the top ten list plus other important townspeople. At the brunch, she wangles an assistant's job for Don with Gus DeMarmel, president of DeMarmel lunchmeat; never mind that Don has absolutely no business experience. Since Don already has a job, Sally tells him to take the night shift and be an assistant during the day shift. After sitting in on only one of Dick's classes, Tommy tells him that he's a terrible teacher, much worse than Tommy imagined. Don starts his assistant's job, and Sally couldn't be more proud. Insulted by Tommy's remarks, Dick says he's forbidden to go to Pendleton. Tommy's delighted, so Dick then informs him that he will, in fact, be going there. Tommy asks Dick what his problem is. Dick's so bad at teaching that Tommy thought he knew. Don is crazed at work when Harry and Sally show up, and he has no time for them. Tommy talks with Mary, and she confesses she feels guilty about trying to recruit him, because Pendleton's a clown college. Harry convinces Sally that Don is blowing her and is now in search of a trophy wife. Sally says she made Don, now she can break him. When Dick is unsuccessful at teaching some kids to play hopscotch, even Mary agrees that he's a bad teacher. Sally sabotages a project Don's working on, and he gets fired. And when Dick tells Tommy he plans to quit teaching, Tommy reminds him that no matter how good or bad a teacher he is, his real job is to be high commander.