Episode #611 "My Mother, My Dick"

Harry and Sally have been fooling around with the time space portal located in the closet even though Dick has warned them not to do it. Later Dick opens the closet door and out steps an alien from the home planet. This is their fault, Dick tells Harry and Sally, and now the alien is their responsibility. Dick is having dinner in a restaurant with Mary and her mother, Martha, who Mary despises. While Martha's in the ladies' room, Dick urges Mary to be honest with her mother about the issues she has. Mary asks how do you tell your mother she's a terrible mother. Trying to help, Dick proposes a toast to "the worst mother in the world." It looks as if Martha and Dick are about to get into a fist fight. Martha kicks Dick, falls down and ends up in the hospital. The alien needs all the care of a newborn as he tries to get used to his new body. Harry and Sally decide to call him Guy. Sally, already bored, is ready to forget about him, but Harry reminds her that they have a responsibility now. Mary's furious with Dick; thanks to him she had to spend the night at the hospital with her mother. Sally's dying of boredom from babysitting Guy, and there's no end in sight. Dick visits Martha in the hospital. She's just had a hip replacement, but Dick wastes no time in chiding her about Mary's "broken childhood." Martha says it's all nonsense; Mary was loved and had a good home. She was an ungrateful child and a real handful. Dick, deeply moved, promises to tend to Martha's every need. Dick installs her in his apartment and is waiting on her hand and foot. Mary demands to know what's going on, and Dick informs her that he now knows the truth about her past. She was quite the rebellious little tart, and she doesn't know how lucky she is to have a mother. Harry and Sally take Guy to Johnny Foam's Café where he meets Mrs. Dubcek, his first human. They hit it off surprisingly well, but when Guy defiantly smokes one of Mrs. Dubcek's cigarettes, Sally goes crazy. Mary has an attack of guilt and confides to Nina that she's the worst daughter in the world. The honeymoon's soon over between Dick and Martha as they take turns sniping at each other and Dick starts seeing her from Mary's point of view. Dick complains to Guy that Martha's a madwoman. Guy reminds Dick that Martha's not his mother; he can walk away any time he wants. Just as Dick's ready to throw Martha out, a guilt-ridden Mary arrives and says that Martha's coming home with her. And Guy says goodbye to Harry and Sally as he departs, ready to make his way in the world.