Episode #413 "To Catch A Thief"

Hilton and Ruth are watching Cary Grant in Hitchcock's "North By Northwest." Ruth keeps distracting Hilton from the movie by talking, so he goes outside to plant tulips. He talks to Griffin and his neighbor Mrs. Gallagher, then goes inside to get some fertilizer just as two disguised bank robbers appear carrying several bags of money. One robber opens a bag and a dye packet explodes. The two robbers hop the fence into Hilton's yard dropping a bag of money in the process. Hilton comes outside, spots the bag and picks it up, getting ink on his hands. Bruno, one of the robbers, says he'll take the bag and warns Hilton not to move for five minutes. Hilton notices he has a tattoo on his forearm that reads "Property of Maryann." Hilton reports the incident, and soon there's a knock at the door. Hilton opens it, expecting the police, but it's Jack and Bruno, the two robbers, pretending to be cops. They ask Hilton for the money, and both Hilton and Griffin realize that these guys aren't the police. The crooks realize they're on to them, and they leave, saying they'll be back, so no funny business with the cops. FBI agents Pratt and Renner arrive just as Hilton receives a call from Jack and Bruno. They're holding Ruth hostage across the street at the café. They put Ruth on the phone, and she tells Hilton the men are serious. Hilton reveals nothing to the FBI guys, and when Griffin tells them the robbers were there, Hilton denies it. When the FBI agents go outside to look around, Hilton tells Griffin that the robbers have Ruth. At the café, Ruth keeps up a continuous line of chatter, nearly driving the robbers crazy. They question Hilton and notice the red dye on his hands. The agents end up leaving saying they'll be back with a search warrant. Hilton tells Griffin it's just like "North By Northwest;" the police think he's in on the crime. The robbers return with Ruth and demand another hostage. Jack tells Hilton to just hand over the cash, but Hilton says he can't do that. Griffin shows up dressed in a fifties suit and fedora. Hilton introduces him to Ruth as their good friend Mr. MacAllister. "MacAllister" says he doesn't have the money either, but he gives the robbers a complicated set of directions to the stolen fortune. Suddenly Darien and Erica arrive, also dressed up in fifties garb, claiming that she has twisted her ankle. Hilton invites them in and offers them a brandy. Ruth goes to get an icepack. Darien introduces them as Reed and Vivian Talbot. They hand Bruno a note saying that they know he double-crossed his partner. They demand to split the money or they'll rat him out. Jack comes in and realizes what's going on. Bruno confesses it was all Maryann's idea and that she has the money. Jack tells Bruno to call Maryann and have her bring the money, but the FBI arrives and Hilton says he has everything on tape. Just then, Hilton wakes up on the couch in front of the TV, and Ruth tells him he's been dreaming.