Episode #215 "Lowenstein’s Lament"

  Ira tells Cybill that his book, Lowenstein’s Lament, is being made into a movie. He tells Cybill she’s a shoe-in for the lead. She agrees -- who could play her better than her? She then loses the part to Paula Abdul. William Katt portrays Ira. After watching a scene in the first version, Cybill is annoyed that her character is so submissive. Ira realizes writers don’t have much clout. In the next re-write, the Cybill character is a drunk, philandering reporter who neglects her child. Ira is portrayed as a loyal, caring cop. Ira is fired and replaced by a female writer, who interviews Cybill. In the next version, Ira is a worthless psycho who ‘hears voices.’ In the next version, they’re volatile characters who hurl things at each other. Cybill and Ira plea with the young director, Todd, to factor sensitivity back into the movie. After a pause, Todd says he gets it. In the final version, they’re sensitive all right -- until their hideaway is discovered and they’re accosted by Ninjas. Cybill and Ira are in the screening room watching in horror. Meanwhile, Zoey is evasive about her job. Cybill and Maryann follow her to the museum, where they discover she’s a tour guide. Cybill and Maryann create a scene and get dragged away by security. Ira is also ejected another day, after trying to defend his Zoey’s virtue. Zoey takes a Polaroid of her parents and tells them they’ve been banned from the museums as well as the LaBrea tar pits. Finally, Maryann contemplates pursuing Ira.