Episode #221 "Eddie and This Guy With Diamonds"

Claudia, Lily and Henry are walking home from the grocery store when they pass a group of guys, guarded by a cop, scrubbing graffiti off a wall. Claudia sees that Sean is part of the group and can’t believe her eyes. Her husband’s part of a chain gang, and today’s their anniversary. When she confronts Sean, he explains that it’s a government-sponsored service project. This would never have happened if Claudia hadn’t been playing games about anniversary gifts. Claudia says they shouldn’t exchange anniversary gifts, and Sean almost believes her, but both Walt and Eddie say that a gift for Claudia is absolutely necessary. Sean protests that he’s always been terrible about picking out gifts for his wife. Walt gives Sean a fox stole that was packed away in the garage; it originally belonged to Sean’s mother. Lily takes one look at it and goes crazy; it’s hideous! But Sean comes through and presents Claudia with a small gift box, but she won’t open it, because she said she didn’t want a gift. Dean comes to pick Lily up to go to a donkey basketball game. Lily, who’s suddenly an advocate for animal rights, thinks it’s kind of barbaric, but Dean thinks the concept of nuns on donkeys is irresistible. Walt finds a donkey taking up the last parking place on the street, and Dean realizes it’s a basketball donkey. Lily protests that she’s not guilty of anything. Sean insists that Claudia open the box; she does so and finds a pair of beautiful diamond earrings. She thinks that Sean must have stolen them. He says he just wanted to get her something special. Sean and Eddie are at the jewelry store, and Sean picks out some earrings that he thinks Claudia will like. Eddie says he can get him a much better deal from a guy who “works outside the system.” The guy is Reggie who works at a VCR repair shop. Reggie has a briefcase full of diamonds, and the price is right. Just as they make their deal, four plainclothes cops burst into the room. Back at the Finnertys, everyone is out on the street checking out the donkey. Brad comes out of his house and tells them that the donkey followed him home. Brad thinks he smells like peanut butter. Eddie arrives and says that he saw another donkey tying up traffic on the beltway. Claudia freaks out when she hears how Sean got the earrings. Her husband is a felon. No, says Sean, it was some kind of misdemeanor. Back on the street, it hits Dean that Lily and Brad are responsible for the donkeys that are on the loose. Lily admits that she had to do something; the donkeys were being exploited and nobody would listen. She tried her best to convince Sister Helen, but the nun didn’t want to hear it, so Lily did what she had to do. She tells Dean that the donkeys need to be in the wild. Dean points out that this is Staten Island; there is no wild. Brad thinks that now he and Lily have a special relationship, but she quickly sets him straight; they broke into a donkey trailer and that’s it. Claudia tells Sean that she refuses to wear stolen earrings; they’re not stolen, says Sean. He bought them. He would have gotten off with a fine from the judge until he tried to beat up on Eddie in the courtroom. The bailiff had to zap Sean with a taser to calm him down. As a result, Sean got a hundred hours of community service. Claudia asks why the cops didn’t find the earrings. He swallowed them, and the next day he “got them back.”