Episode #104 "Foreign Affairs"

Bill's trying on his old army uniform, and Joan, her Red Cross uniform, because they're planning to march in Normal, Ohio's Founder's Day parade. A little later Robbie's rummaging through a box of Bill's old Korean War stuff and finds a letter which he, Butch and Pamela at first think is a love letter from Joan to Bill. In fact, it's a love letter to Bill from a Korean woman named Min Kwok, who calls herself Bill's little lychee nut. As much as Butch would love to bust his dad, he and Pamela agree that to reveal Bill's secret would ruin their parents' lives. Butch agrees that they should "Let cheating dogs lie." Mr. Collins, Robbie's teacher, calls Pamela to say that the homework Robbie's been turning in is unsatisfactory. Robbie, backed by Kimberly, says that Collins is a slave driver and a jerk, so Pamela decides she needs to go to the school and have a talk with him. Butch and Charlie are talking to Bill, who's accusing Butch of being a bad role model. Butch can't resist pointing out that Bill isn't so great himself, since he screwed around on Joan. Bill knows he's busted. It wasn't that he didn't love Joan; he was a kid ten thousand miles from home. The last thing Bill needs is for Joan to find out, he says, and ends the conversation. Pamela's ready to tell off Mr. Collins until she sees how attractive he is. He offers to tutor Robbie at home, and she giddily accepts. Butch confesses to Pamela that he talked to their dad about the letter. Bill calls and wants to meet Butch to talk about it further. Butch says he'll meet him at Rusty's Bar. Bill says everyone in the family now knows about Min Kwok, and no one can keep their mouths shut. Butch tries to reassure him that no one will say anything to Joan. Bill says if Joan finds out, she'll leave him, but maybe if he confesses and says how sorry he is then they can get past it. Butch goes with Bill to tell Joan. He begins by saying that while he was away during the war, one of them was not entirely faithful. Joan blurts out that she's so sorry she had an affair. Bill goes crazy and throws her out of the house. Pamela's getting ready for Mr. Collins' visit, and Kimberly's grossed out that clearly her mom's attracted to Robbie's teacher. Joan shows up at Pamela's and confesses her affair, along with more details than anyone wants to hear. Pamela tells Butch he'd better get the parents back together because she doesn't want their mother living with them. Elizabeth tells Butch that he'd better persuade his dad to make his own confession, because that kind of lie can put a crack in the foundation of a marriage. Mr. Collins arrives for the tutoring session and proves that his reputation is deserved; he actually is a pompous jerk. And Bill tells Joan he forgives her, but refuses to confess his own affair.