Episode #225 "Catfight Club"

Fez, Hyde, Eric and Jackie are playing Monopoly when Kelso and Laurie arrive. Friction between Jackie and Laurie is immediate. Barbs are exchanged, and Laurie clearly wins the round. Later Jackie tells Hyde that she'd like to pull Laurie's hair out. Hyde says Laurie feeds on Jackie's anger, and it makes her stronger. Hyde observes that if Jackie really wants to get under Laurie's skin, she has to be "Zen," and Hyde will give her lessons. Kelso's going to have dinner with Laurie and the Formans, and Eric and Donna think he's crazy and can't imagine what Red will do when he finds out Kelso and Laurie are dating. Kitty tells Laurie she's out of her mind to even consider bringing Kelso home to dinner; Kelso is obviously a loser who'll probably end up tearing tickets at the Tilt-A-Whirl. Besides, there'll be real trouble when Red finds out. Hyde teaches Jackie that she needs to be aloof and inscrutable. Ambiguity is the key to being cool. Jackie practices her lesson on Donna and is delighted to find that Hyde's advice really works. Kelso arrives for dinner, and when Laurie tells Red that he's her new boyfriend, Red tells Kelso he has five seconds to get as far away as possible. Red tells Kitty he doesn't want their daughter dating a kettlehead. This is how it starts, and before long they'll be asking for money for a wedding. A fantasy sequence follows in which Red visualizes the year 1996 when Laurie and Kelso are married, Kelso is unemployed and they're living with Red and Kitty. Afterward he tells Kitty that he'll forbid Laurie to date Kelso, but Kitty cautions that this will just encourage her. Red gets Kelso aside in the garage and tells him that his only hope of staying alive is to fly under Red's radar and make sure Red never sees Laurie and Kelso together ever again. If that happens, Red may just forget that Kelso exists. The gang is in the Forman basement, and Laurie comes in. She and Jackie once again exchange insults which end in a screaming cat fight. Laurie breaks away and runs upstairs, while Hyde proudly tells Jackie that she kicked Laurie's ass. She says that she didn't act very "Zen," but Hyde tells her that her final lesson is that where "Zen" ends, ass kicking begins.